Grace for the Journey {day 12}

Sometimes I get an idea, something I want to write and I feel passionate about it and sculpt some great sentences. I think it sounds good and give myself a little pat on the back.

{and sometimes I use a variation of some 10 times in one sentence}

I begin to think I really know what’s going on and high-five Jesus in the corner.

But it’s more like when you go in for a high five and midway you realize the other person isn’t high-fiving you back and you try to play it off like you never meant to go for it.

{anybody?}

I realize I haven’t a clue…and the tension of this life melding with the other realm and I’m lost. Are we heads or tails? Is this a dream within a dream within a dream? Do I know what I’m doing? What am I even talking about? Is what I’m saying blending into my living?

Sometimes you think you have the answers, when you really just have a tiny piece of the puzzle and have yet to see the full question. That’s where I feel with a lot of this sojourning.

I only know it because so much of my life has been unattached to typical “home.” I’ve never lived in the house my parents now own. I can’t go back to visit my old high school or see a homecoming game. I transferred colleges and my alma mater doesn’t have a football team, so while most people here in the South are raising their banner I’m shrugging my shoulders.

And there are more “spiritual” aspects of my sojourning. Plans changed and waiting on the Lord to provide ambiguous directions to the next place, etc.

All this mumbling and bumbling to say…I’m no expert at sojourning. This isn’t a science I’ve got mapped down and figured out. {i don’t think it’s supposed to be} Sometimes my hands are raised to heaven in a “What the heck–?” fashion.

Friend to friend, stumbler to stumbler…I just wanted you to know I don’t have it all together. Sometimes I think I know, sometimes I write like I have it all figured out. But I don’t. I try and I fail and I aim to take Jesus’ words and live them.

Sometimes I’m reluctant, sometimes I’m poetic, sometimes I live by faith and sometimes by sight.

{and sometimes I break the writer rules and overuse weak words}