This week I’ve struggled with this grace for myself. To be honest, I’ve always struggled with grace. It’s too easy. Too free. It doesn’t ask enough.
I know my failures, I know my weaknesses, I know all the ways I don’t measure up.
I am a worker and struggle so when I receive without giving. Things like love and grace…these intangible gifts that change lives—I hold them at a distance. It’s too easy. There must be catch. I haven’t endured them. I struggle to fully trust them.
I don’t give grace to myself. My husband pointed this out to me today and I’m not sure how to respond. How do you appropriate grace to yourself in an experiential, everyday way? How do you allow grace to change, not just your eternal standing, but your mind and your heart?
I feel a hypocrite here. How can I hold such an affection for redemption and find its story so beautiful, but hold the truth at a distance when it meets me on the road?
I struggle with this grace enough for me. I still wrestle deep with my doing being my being.
Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain?
Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith—?
Jesus holds grace for me even in this failing.
“Remember to believe God’s truth even when it doesn’t feel true. Remember that your life is hidden with Christ in God, you no longer have to manufacture your own safe places.
And when we forget to remember? We don’t have to travel over mountains and rough terrain to get back to God.
Simply receive and believe that the truth is still true, and purpose to stay safely inside him.”
- Emily Freeman, Grace for the Good Girl (221)
I thought it would be hard to believe in, but it’s not hard at all
To believe I’ve sinned
And fallen short
Of the glory of God
He’s not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He’s asking to take my place
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real amazing grace
And it’s not just a sign or a sacrament
It’s not just a metaphor for love
The blood is real and it’s not just a symbol of our faith
- Sara Groves, Awakening
During each Wednesday in Lent, I’ll be sharing a bit of my journey to the cross. I’d love to hear your thoughts, reflections, struggles, hope, and perspective of this Lenten season.
My hope is this Lenten gathering becomes a place where we not only meet each other and become more united as this One Body of Christ, but that each of our unique perspectives, voice, and journey will enlarge our vision of Christ.
I hope you’ll join in the community of faith as we journey together in purpose, worship, and humility as we come to the crux of our faith—Christ crucified and Him risen.
If you’d like to join in this Lenten gathering, perhaps you’d like to share and spread the word with a button?