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Jesslyn Mueller

author ● sojourner ● mother artist

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    • Journey: Advent for Sojourners
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    • The Sea & All Its Stars
    • The Haunting of Magnolia Woods
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The Reluctant Sojourner

JessicaJanuary 28, 2012

Excuse the dust. I’m setting up my tent, straightening the flaps, and learning the waysContinue reading

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jesslyn.mueller

Jessica Mueller
The curl rested on her finger tip. The arches gent The curl rested on her finger tip. The arches gently tickling her skin as she pushed her to the ground. Dirt. The space between her fingers widened,, the grit of earth scraping her palm. And sap. She raised her hand, picking off pine needles. What happened? “Come child,” a voice whispered. Her head spun and she closed her eyes. She ran through the woods. Something chasing her, as if all her nightmares were made real. Stocking feet soaked. The hem of her skirt ripped with the second fall, the cool night air caressed her chemise. A penitence and warning of other desires. She lost her shoes with the first. She had only meant to run away from the darkness that found her. But he never came. She only meant to run away with him. In his absence the darkness grew. It was as if every fear she held, every mistake she made, bowl she’d cracked and dropped, every unbecoming thought, every disappointed hope mocked her in that vaporous gloom. Calling and taunting that she had dare to think there might be more for her one such as her. She waited by the copse, by the barn, in the hall. All those times he can come. But when she waited by the woods… “Come, child.” She blinked to a silky voice, warm as tea with chestnut eyes and skin the color of pine sap. A gentle smile peeked from within the veil of hair cupping the woman’s face. A hand reached for hers, the clink of shells on the woman’s wrist chimed with the trickling brook as she pulled her to sitting. “The spirits have granted you entrance. It’s time to find who you are.” /// #flashfictionmagic with @embarnettauthor // Prompt: The End Even though I suggested this prompt, I found this one a hard one to write. I ended up taking Magnolia’s entrance into the woods from another angle. What I like about flash fiction and playing with different ideas is that they’re just that—play. And practice. They don’t have to be perfect. They’re like practicing your scales. #flashfiction #thehauntingofmagnoliawoods #shortstory #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity
My name is Jessica and I walk in the ways of my mo My name is Jessica and I walk in the ways of my mother...and make last minute sewing decisions. We're heading up to the @wildandfreefarm for Medieval Adventure Weekend with @fellandfair . Last year I made the kids costumes and capes, but ran out of time to make anything for me. I almost didn't this year, but figured why the heck not. The last 24 hours has been a lot of sewing, but my medieval dress is done. A bit of YouTube and medieval costume tutorials I've got a loose kirtle. It could still use a little finessing around the shoulders and waist, but it's done for now. Our team is red, hence the awkward belt, but I wanted a neutral color dress that I could use for other costumes and stuff. Plus, red isn't my favorite color. (Signed a Slytherin. 🐍) Now to go add some length and width to the girls dresses from last year, because they won’t stop growing. So, yeah…no, writing didn’t get done this week. 🖋 . . . . . . . #medievaladventureweekend #wildandfreemama #fantasycostume #medievalcosplay #createmagic #myseasonalstory #doortomywonderland #medievalcore #medievalfantasy #writerscommunity #writerslife
She plucked a stray twig from her matted curls. Is She plucked a stray twig from her matted curls. Is this what the woods did to her? Not that it mattered. No one saw her, none except the Sisters. Magnolia sighed. This ache shouldn't feel new. But standing before the mirror a piece of her longed for before. Before crossing the ocean, before the boy that broke her heart, before the woods pulled her to safety and she became a part of it. She blinked. There was something there, in the mirror. Leaning forward her fingers grazed the glass, a ripple trailing. A woman's face appeared, smoky tendrils blotted the edges of her dress. But there was a likeness, just around her eyes. As if Magnolia was looking-- "I don't know you, girl," the woman's voice called from within the frame. Startled, she dropped her hand. An echo of a past life an ocean away. And yet, Magnolia carried that moment like a mourning locket. To hear it again...she wiped her eyes, unable to look away. She twisted the ring on her finger, a simple forget-me-not caged in glass. A plume of gray obscured the woman's face. Magnolia peered closer, her forehead pushing through the glass. The eyes before her turned black, darkness covered the woman's scowl. "The reaver raves beyond the grave," the reflection hissed. A twisting snarl of smoke wrapped Magnolia’s hands resting on the frame. “It will come for you.” She leaned closer, the tendrils welcoming her. "Magnolia, no!" Someone pulled her from behind. She clattered to the floor, breath labored. Magnolia looked to the Sister, begging answers. "Not everything reflected is true," the spirit warned, her voice grave, "but some things are." Her gaze returned to the glass, but all she saw was a reflection of the open door and the woods beyond. Back with #flashfictionmagic hosted by @embarnettauthor | prompt: Mirror, Mirror #thehauntingofmagnoliawoods #flashfiction #shortstory #microfiction #writingcommunity
dear writer, Begin again. Dream again. Take up yo dear writer, Begin again. Dream again. Take up your pen again. Put on your favorite music and soak it in. Light a candle, let the magic begin. September is for dreamers. ( @adri_writenow signed the permission slip.) It's for new pens and new notebooks. It's for shaky hope that gets up anyway. It's for new and old stories. Echoes of the past and times to come. September is for hope sweater weather is almost here. It's for dreamy eyes, wanderlust visions inked on sidebars and scraps. It's for index card plot points neat in a row and "What if?" light bulb moments you never imagined. September is for beginning again. Returning to or starting anew. ---- For me, September is prepping for #PitchWars and tightening my story again. (This is revision 6, if anyone's counting.) It's for following Magnolia through the woods. (She's been begging to come out.) And, September is for giving myself permission to write freely and wildly. To write magic and be magic. ✨ I'm also considering jumping in #PitMad tomorrow. I may give a preview in my stories, if dinner can wait. What are you dreaming this September? #septdreamer #dearwriter2021 #theseaandallitsstars #thehauntingofmagnoliawoods #createmagic #writerslife #writersinspiration
Here's to 38. ✨ Thirty-seven was a year of unra Here's to 38. ✨ Thirty-seven was a year of unraveling + uncertainty, but also, though painful, the beginning of healing. Earlier this week, as anxiety + dread arose thinking of the coming months I wrote myself a list to help me stay present + tender, anchored + wholehearted, rooted + grounded, to live + do what must be done. Three days later, I already needed its reminder. (today was an emotional wreck of a day) Tackle the inner dialogue. Be kind + gentle, but also swift + true. Keep short accounts with myself. Don't let feelings fester. Attend them as they rise. Journal daily. Seek connection with people who are for your good. Don't let others live in your mind. You do not need to give an answer to everyone. You do not need to convince everyone of your worth, your position, your view. Hold the tension. Hold your peace. Not every moment needs to be multitasked. Tend to the hearts in front of you. Care for your own heart. Cultivate tenderness. Do good. Trust mercy. "Seek the Lord" looks many different ways. Just seek. Let go of your fear of being wrong or not enough. Let go, that takes too much mental energy. Take your vitamins. Take a walk. Sleep well. Breathe deeply. Entrust yourself to Him who judges justly. Keep short accounts. Be gentle with yourself. Keep short to do lists. (deep breath--it'll be okay) Write. Write. Write. Play with words. Plant flowers + dig in the dirt. Believe you are capable. Believe you are worthy. Speak well of yourself. This too is healing. Set boundaries, follow through. Stay tender. Cultivate the life you seek. Strong back, soft front, wild heart. This is the year of restoration--- may the Lord restore what the locusts devoured. May uncertainty be met with curiousty instead of dread. May anxiety be a reason to pause, breathe, + take account instead of hide. May depression be met with gentleness, not shame + self-loathing. May flowers breed joy + ground you in the liturgy of the earth. May justice be found + truth lay heavy on the unjust. May words heal + create. May magic come to those who seek it. May love speak louder than shame. May the pain of growth bloom into possibility.
You may have noticed a theme in these #sundaymorni You may have noticed a theme in these #sundaymorningrefrain lately--love + the law. The law of love. Things often capitulated as opposites, but are not. A seeming paradox. A tension to hold. Jesus didn’t come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it. He fulfilled the law by his obedience to love.⁠ ⁠ Now, I want to pause this week + speak on another aspect of love: receiving.⁠ ⁠ We have heard + know it is better to give than to receive. We’ve internalized this practice, but the paradox of better to give than to receive is at some point we will be receiving. It is easier to give, but harder to receive. Giving puts us in a position of power--not always negative, but it doesn't require the vulnerability of receiving.⁠ ⁠ Love is often the hardest to receive. We may long for it, itch to feel its softness, parched for the thirst of love + still struggle to receive it. We have built walls + hedges to protect ourselves. Past experiences may have shown us love is not always free or safe. We can be disappointed or hurt by twisted love, so we build walls around our hearts.⁠ ⁠ Receiving love is vulnerable. It requires a willingness to be open to joy + pain, belonging + rejection. My hope for you + us is that we would receive love, love that seeks our good.⁠ ⁠ I’ll leave you with this,⁠ May you know the love of God, a love that is free from guilt + shame, a love that calls you as you are, a love that will transform you. A love freely given is a love that frees.⁠ ⁠ May you know the Lord loves you, no matter who you are, what you’ve done, or what you think of yourself. You carry inherent worth, because you are created + loved by the Creator.⁠ ⁠ May you allow yourself to be loved today. May you receive the love you are given today--the gift of a friend, the hug of a child, the heartfelt declaration of a spouse. May you refute the urge to say, “No, not me. Worthy of love is not for me.” Call it what it is: a lie.⁠ ⁠ Allow yourself a brave moment, an open heart + eyes to allow yourself to receive love. In the end, only love remains. May you go in love, beloved.⁠
I've been off the internet for most of the week.Te I've been off the internet for most of the week.Tell me how you and the world's been. The ups + downs, your joys + ahas! What made you laugh? What's making you think? What's shifting? What are you delighting in? What are you planning? How are you surviving the world on fire?
“It all comes down to love,” Ms. Donna used to “It all comes down to love,” Ms. Donna used to say. I use to think that was an oversimplification, “Yes, love, but--” Lists + lists of tangential things that are more important than love, more useful, more tangible, more lofty, or more readily able to do. There has to be something more than Love, right? There has to be something more than God, right? You can't preach to a people + not mention the love of God for months upon months. That's a faith unhinged from its Source. Gone past parched to withered. Roots shriveled. Stalks blackened. Moldy flowers that won't go to seed. God is love. Without love, we cannot know God. Without love of neighbor there is no love of God. Time + Scripture has changed how I see love & the law. They are inextricably linked. The law is wrapped up + hinged in love, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, & with all your mind. This is the greatest & most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law & the Prophets depend on these two commands” (‭‭Matt. ‭22:37-40‬). How do we remain in God’s love and keep his commandments? To keep God's commandments is to love God. This is why God can say his commands are not burdensome, because they are rooted in love. By loving God, ourselves, and others. God’s commands are wrapped up + hinged on love-- God’s love for us. Our love for God + others. Love is an act of obedience--not only obedience to the letter of the law, but the law that experiences, receives, understands, + spreads the love of God. Love is showing up without all the answers. Love is without favoritism, without politics. Love is laying down your life. Love is action + truth. Love is humble. Love is living without gates + boxes to keep out. Love is a willingness to be loved. Love is vulnerable. Love is at the very heart of God. May you know the love of God--whether anyone else speaks of love or loves you well--may you know the love of God that is gentle, kind, joyful, peaceful, patience, good, faithful, + self-controled. May you rest in a love that is not earned, but freely given. May you exult in the love of God that holds no bounds + frees you.
This is one of those truths that I wish wasn’t t This is one of those truths that I wish wasn’t true, but often is. Procrastination doesn’t always mean you’re avoiding feelings, but it wouldn’t hurt to check, right?⁠ ⁠ For me, this often looks like journaling in my morning pages.⁠ ⁠ For example, if I‘ve been avoiding writing for a few days (or weeks) but saying I want to do it and regretting that I’m not and still not doing the work, then it’s very likely something else is going on at a deeper level.⁠ ⁠ It’s likely less about my time, ability, or resources and more about how I feel and think about myself in relation to the work. ⁠ ⁠ Journaling and asking questions like:⁠ What’s in the way?⁠ What am I feeling?⁠ Why am I feeling this?⁠ What am I fearing?⁠ What self-protection is actually sabotage in this moment?⁠ ⁠ These help me filter through what’s hidden beneath my mental and emotional surfaces.⁠ ⁠ It’s amazing how much gunk and even heaviness gets lifted when I journal through those questions. The layers get pulled back and it’s like a big sigh of relief. Then, I get to work. Or freely rest.⁠ ⁠ But even this is work. The same feelings will likely pop back up in a few days or week, so it’s regularly tending to the garden of my mind. ⁠ ⁠ 📝How do you deal with procrastination?⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ ⁠ #amwriting #amediting #writingtips #writinglife #writerslife #fictionwriter #writerslife #writergram #writerscommunity #writingcommunityofinstagram #writinginspiration #writingquotes
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