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Jesslyn Mueller

author ● sojourner ● mother artist

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    • Journey: Advent for Sojourners
      • Journey Extras
    • The Sea & All Its Stars
    • The Haunting of Magnolia Woods
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The Reluctant Sojourner

JessicaJanuary 28, 2012

Excuse the dust. I’m setting up my tent, straightening the flaps, and learning the waysContinue reading

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Recent Posts

  • Building a Writing Practice that Works for You
  • WIP: Diving into “The Little Mermaid”
  • Dear Writer, Don’t Despise Slow

jesslyn.mueller

Jessica Mueller
On Monday during my morning pages, I journaled abo On Monday during my morning pages, I journaled about how I feel like I’m looking in an empty bucket trying to find or drum up ideas, because nothing was work and everything felt dry. Then Tuesday morning reading The Artist’s Way I came across this, “Instead of reaching for inventions, we are engaged in listening. [...] Art is an act of tuning in and dropping down the well. It is as though all the stories, painting, music, performances in the world live just under the surface of our normal consciousness. Like an underground river, they flow through us as a stream of ideas that we can tap down into. As artists, we drop down the well into the stream. We hear what's down there and we act on it-more like taking dictation than anything fancy having to do with art.” Then we hiked through Congaree National Park surrounded by water and these huge, old growth forest trees. It felt synchronous. So I listened. Then Wednesday, during those faithful morning pages, I wrote five pages of a new story idea that has just been a wisp of a daydream floating in my head. Today unexpected. Not something even on my radar as a project for this year. Then this morning, I began to untangle webs for Magnolia and dip into those underground currents. It’s weird isn’t it? I didn’t try harder, didn’t force anything. Didn’t sit at the blank page begging ideas to come. I listened to what was already there. Dipped my bucket in and filled up. 🪣 It’s a bit of that big magic. ✨ ✨Have you experienced any synchronicity lately? #amwriting #writingcommunity #writersofinstagram #writinginspiration #writinglife #writerslife #bigmagic #theartistsway #createandcultivate #createmagic
Dear Writer, I'm just going to come out and say it Dear Writer, I'm just going to come out and say it. Don't fear the hard things. We're past embracing the title of writer. You're a writer, my dear. We know that. You've claimed it, put it in your bio, bought the t-shirt. (If it's still sitting in your drawer, go on pull it out and wear it.) You've embraced it and are walking the waves. Don't fear feedback. There's no need to avoid your email, in line comments, or your critque partners' messages. It's scary to receive critique, even if it's helpful and necessary. It takes vulnerablity (and with vulnerability comes strength--not weakness). But critique and editing does not equal bad. It's helping to tell a tighter story, a story where the leaks don't get in. It helps to see things that, as the writer, you don't notice because you've been in the world too long. Critique doesn't mean you're a bad writer. It means you're learning and growing and improving. Every critique or criticism (there's a difference) isn't vaild. It doesn't change your worth. That's hard to see in a culture that says your productivity, along with its acceptance and praise, is your worth. But you--and me--can receive it with a strong back and soft front. We can receive critique without falling. It's growth for the author and the work. You are capable and skilled and able to accept critique without fear. I believe in you.✨ ... I write these little letters for me and for you. I'm in the feedback stage for my WIP and the feedback has been good and helpful, but has also pointed out areas for improvement. That's not a surprise. That's the whole point of beta readers. What I have noticed is my own deep discomfort with sometimes, if I'm honest, even looking at it. I cringe at overused commas, things that I left unclear, things I tried to explain, but are still unclear, and things I hoped would magically work without too many questions. This process is teaching me how I still need to grow in being able to receive critique without drawing in like a snail, because on some level I still pull my worth from the quality of what I produce. It's a journey. ✌🏽
I thought writing in the sun at one of my favorite I thought writing in the sun at one of my favorite little places would help, but no--still feeling that in between, creatively frustrated feeling. Nothing is working with my side project or a new story idea I've been thinking about. I came to my plot outline sheet for Magnolia this week and it's as if every spark and idea has taken a vacation. I tried writing "What if...?" questions for the new story idea and got stuck after I wrote the few that were already swirling in my head. I just couldn't think of anymore. It's as if I sit down to work and all the ideas and enthusiasm that is floating in me 95% decided to close up shop and take a day off. I haven't been in this things aren't working and I don't see a open door in awhile. I know that advice I'd give someone else: take a break, go play, take a writing break and do something completely different. To all that I feel like saying, "Blah" and dragging my feet in the mud to force the work. Hmph. But that isn't working either. 🙈 ✨What do you do when things are working and you're feeling creatively frustrated?
I did not pick a word for the year (or if I did, I I did not pick a word for the year (or if I did, I don't remember), but uncertainty and embracing uncertainty seems to be the theme coming at me from different corners of my life--in books, counseling, memes, and even coffee cups. ☕️ What messages keep showing up in your life this year?
Ready for some stream of consciousness? Buckle up. Ready for some stream of consciousness? Buckle up. 💺 Life feels weird lately. Not like it hasn't felt weird the whole last year. But it's feels like an in between season. Things are shifting, but not quite yet. Not fully. It rained 5 of the 7 days last week. While most of the country has some time of snow or frozenness (I made it up...go with it), we've got sun. But not for long. It'll be freezing rain tomorrow. The seasons are shifting, not quite ready to fully commit to spring, but itching for it. I feel the itching too, in my spirit, both creatively & spiritually. Things are shifting. It makes sense. I've reached a hurdle in my main project. Beta reader feedback is beginning to come in (& I'm starting to read it) and it's equal parts exciting and makes me want to hide. It's good and necessary feedback, helpful and kind. It's another shift. A sign of work to come. Work that will be hard & good. Necessary. I've been trying to work on my Magnolia stories, but it's been slow. I'm not sure what will come of them. I'm having fun & exploring different techniques, but some part of my still feels writing work has to have a qualitative, productive end result. I've been struggling with reconciling my art & my faith. It often feels like for work to be worthwhile in Christian spheres it must be evangelistic or discipleship. Mine's not. At least not explicitly. I don't try to be & I don't want it to be. Somewhere along the way I picked back up the mantle (& the shame that comes with it) that the only "good Christian work" is explicit. I'm not exactly in circles that embrace art. Though they exist tangentially & I'm thankful for those people who remind me art is good & holy & a reflection of our God. I thought I'd write a short poem a day for Lent, then ditched it. Maybe. I've been pondering why as Christian's we often talk about holiness as drudgery, or even the litmus test to if we're doing the Christian life right is misery. As if God is pleased with how we beat ourselves up than joy. I reject that. And still play in it. Today's the first day of Lent. In between birth and death is waiting, Jesus reminds us "do not harden your hearts..." There's a shifting.
Heading back into Magnolia Woods🌲 You left. I Heading back into Magnolia Woods🌲 You left. I watched you go and I didn't say a word. I wouldn't. Not this time. Not ever, as it turns out. (At least not in words you could hear. But in the breeze--I wrenched my voice hoarse at you. Switched your face in my long, spindly branches.) I've played it over and over again, wondering if there was some way to change the course we walked. You here, me there. Our blood interwoven. But no. I've been gone, stuck in the darkness of the wood. Life stolen. Trapped ever itching to breath, ready to suck the marrow of these trees--if only for a chance to escape. There was a time, I woulda escaped. If I could. If time and cloud and these things I didn't yet understand let me go. They don't. But you did. And I'm here, trapped behind this veil of green. Watching. Waiting. One day I will be more than this verdant gown. Where you go, I go. Where you live, I live. Your daughters will be my daughters. My fate will be your fate. I will lead them to my coven, but I will not abandon them as you abandoned me. No, I will be their guide. You, you-- will be buried under the earth; us--separated only by death. #flashfictiommagic with @embarnettauthor and the prompt Distance. Word Count: 215 photo credit: Alex Dukhanov via unsplash #flashfictionmagic #thehauntingofmagnoliawoods #flashfiction #shortfiction #writingcommunity #writersofinstagram #wanderingtales #sheisnotlost #doortomywonderland
How do we build a writing practice? ✍🏼 There How do we build a writing practice? ✍🏼 There’s no sure fire way, no one and done, no one size fits everyone when it comes to forming a writing practice, but when we look at our lives–as they are right now, adjust our expectations, and notice the patterns in our work and lives I believe we can build a writing practice right where we are. Over on my blog I’m sharing how I found a writing practice that works for me. I’ve got four tips and questions to explore for building your own writing practice. What writing practices work for you? Where do you need help in developing your writing practice? Read more (link in profile): http://www.thereluctantsojourner.com/buildingawritingpracticethatworksforyou/ #writingcommunity #writing #writinglife #writingtips #writersofinstagram #writerslife #writingtips #writingtip
Today I’ve got a post on the blog diving into th Today I’ve got a post on the blog diving into the original tale of “The Little Mermaid,” what our love for it says about us, how I incorporated parts of it into The Sea & all Its Stars, and the transformative power of fairy tales. “Why when the littlest mermaid is longing for the world above, we are longing for her world below? Perhaps we identify with the mermaid’s longing because we know there is something more to life–even in our normal, everyday lives–but, we feel stuck.” For the whole post, click link in profile. 💻 photo credit: Jose Manuel Alonso de Caso via unsplash #theseaandallitsstars #thelittlemermaid #mermaidmonday #retellings #retelling #fairytaleretellings #fairytaleretelling #amwriting #writingcommunity #fairytalecriticism
"Shame is a controlling device. Shaming someone is "Shame is a controlling device. Shaming someone is an attempt to prevent the person from behaving in a way that embarrasses us. [...] The act of making art exposes a society to itself. Art brings things to light. It illuminates us. It sheds light on our lingering darkness. It casts a beam into the heart of our own darkness and says, "See?" When people don't want to see something, they get mad at the one who shows them." - Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way It seems most artists across the spectrum of life have experienced shame. It hurts and it hinders. But we can move out from under it. Being shamed for our creative abilities and dreams says more about the person who is doing the shaming than about us or our work. It points to and reveals to themselves their own hidden pains, broken dreams, and frustrations they choose to keep and, unfortunately, they lay that on us. In 4th grade, I wrote a Christmas book for my teacher. I was so proud of it. I gave it to her and she read it, then after telling me she loved it she gave it back to me and said, "You're going to want to keep this." I felt on high. I took it to mean that she believed in me and my story making ability. That same day, someone else said, "She gave it back to you because she didn't want it." I was shattered. I never showed someone my writing until high school. And then, only once. Sadly, many of us could tell story after story of how we've been shamed for being creators or even just being enthuasitic about the things we loved. In adulthood one of the most stinging has been the refrain from multiple people that "You make me feel bad because of all you do." And of course, it'll be when I'm riding high, having fun putting on an event, in a teaching groove, or weaving flower crowns. Every time it stops me in my tracks and I turn inward, becoming incredibly self-conscious and self-aware of everything I do that isn't "normal" every day stay at home mom stuff. But--I shouldn't. Neither should you. *continued in comments*
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