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Jesslyn Mueller

author ● sojourner ● mother artist

  • About
  • Books
    • Journey: Advent for Sojourners
      • Journey Extras
    • The Sea & All Its Stars
    • The Haunting of Magnolia Woods
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On Writing

Building a Writing Practice that Works for You

Jessica February 9, 2021February 9, 2021
On Writing

WIP: Diving into “The Little Mermaid”

Jessica February 4, 2021February 4, 2021
Dear Writer

Dear Writer, Don’t Despise Slow

Jessica February 1, 2021February 1, 2021
On Writing

“What We Got To Be Scared Of” a poetry win

Jessica January 28, 2021September 24, 2021
Books & Reading

2021 Reading Goals

Jessica January 26, 2021January 15, 2021
On Writing

Write Like It’s Your Job 2021

Jessica January 22, 2021January 15, 2021
The Sea & All Its Stars
MEET JESSLYN
JOURNEY: An Advent Book
On Writing

Building a Writing Practice that Works for You

JessicaFebruary 9, 2021February 9, 2021
Building a Writing Practice that Works for You
As writers, we have an ideal when it comes to our writing practice. Maybe it's a bustling coffee shop with the afternoon sun pouring through, an hour of silence in the early morning, or aContinue reading
WIP: Diving into “The Little Mermaid”
On Writing

WIP: Diving into “The Little Mermaid”

JessicaFebruary 4, 2021February 4, 2021

“Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, andContinue reading

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Dear Writer, Don’t Despise Slow
Dear Writer

Dear Writer, Don’t Despise Slow

JessicaFebruary 1, 2021February 1, 2021

Dear Writer, Sometimes it seems everyone is blooming but you. You look out and seeContinue reading

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“What We Got To Be Scared Of” a poetry win
On Writing

“What We Got To Be Scared Of” a poetry win

JessicaJanuary 28, 2021September 24, 2021

In August 2020, I submitted a short story to our local arts council’s annual writingContinue reading

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2021 Reading Goals
Books & Reading

2021 Reading Goals

JessicaJanuary 26, 2021January 15, 2021

I have a lot of writing goals I’m working on this year, but I’m stillContinue reading

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Recent Posts

  • Building a Writing Practice that Works for You
  • WIP: Diving into “The Little Mermaid”
  • Dear Writer, Don’t Despise Slow

jesslyn.mueller

Jessica
Happy Summer Solstice! 🌸🌞🌸 Quite possibly Happy Summer Solstice! 🌸🌞🌸 Quite possibly my favorite day of the year.

May you feel the warmth of light and love, breezes to relieve you, work that pleases you, cool grass beneath your bare feet, wildflowers to delight, and whispers of firefly magic. ✨

Today we’re making our traditional midsummer cake + sun tea (wild bergamot from the garden!), and maybe visit the river. We’ll don flower crowns and gather to wait for the fireflies to come out and play.

//
for my fictional friends:

Marigold’s hosting a bonfire with her mother and sister. She’s busy gathering herbs for the summer salad and making sun cakes, while Poppy is weaving flower crowns and Lark is sneakily scattering her love potion petals around the yard. Bennett is definitely coming and Marigold can’t decide whether to wear just any old dress or the one Grandma Violet left for her with magic woven into the hem. But she’s definitely putting vervain under her pillow tonight.
Hi, I’m back. Maybe??! I've tried coming back to Hi, I’m back. Maybe??! I've tried coming back to insta a few times and it still feels so loud. I miss it and I don't.

But here's a photo dump to say I'm alive and coming off the school year exhaustion into the "what even is summer?" confusion, which has included:

· lots of reading
· living my cottagecore dreams making honeysuckle syrup from flowers in my yard
· drying rose petals for rose syrup and tea
· lots of trips to the library + trying to figure out how to read my kids book recommendations to me
· Merida learns to drive the lawn mower
· hiking + waterfalls
· always surprised that these boys are teenagers taller than their mamas + growing facial hair + man voices instead of little 6 year olds
· I reread multiple books. Firekeeper's Daughter being one and got to meet @angelineboulley !
· finished out the school year with book club + party and...
· a visit to urgent care before our annual beach trip...which seems to be an annual thing (he got a 3-pronged fish hook stuck in his thumb)

So...yeah. Hi.
“The world’s too big, Mom.” “Then make it “The world’s too big, Mom.”
“Then make it smaller.”
- Man of Steel

This quote has been rolling around my head for over a week now: make it smaller.

With the rush of end of the year activities (mostly done), my husband out of town for 2 weeks (he’s back now), and the end of the year school organization (and prep for next year) along with all the world events and extended family health concerns, I’m tapped out and tired.

I don’t have to rush now, so I won’t.

My well needs refilling and my mind a bit of recalibrating. So I’m making my world smaller for a little while and stepping back from places online and local, saying “no” more, and letting the empty spaces on our calendar stay empty for a little while.

I have no secret plans to finish any work in progress during this hiatus. I don’t even have any goals to write at all.

I’ve been listening to @makersandmystics series on mental health and the artist and making syrups from flowers in my garden. I’ll be putting therapy back on my calendar, sleeping more, and taking hikes like medicine. And, of course, reading. 

I’ll miss your poems and stories, your a-ha! moments and memes, and gushing over books.

See you in mid-June!
What would I tell myself a year ago? The flowers What would I tell myself a year ago?

The flowers will bloom again.

Some things will be harder and others will get easier. Some will leave you confused + frustrated, others will leave you feeling full of joy + wonder.

Your healing will spiral. Some days will feel like you’ve lost all growth. You haven’t. All is not lost. You will be alright.

You’ll want to pick one side or the other, but you’ll still be in between, in the gray.Sometimes that will feel like being trapped + other times a blessing, either way you’ll feel restless.

You’ll have to make your life smaller to make it more manageable and breathable. Say no more. 

It will still hurt to know that people don’t like you and disagree with you without even being willing to listen. That will still be painful, but…you’ll still stand by your beliefs, convictions, & experiences even when it’d be easier not to.

You’ll read a lot of good books.

You’ll care less about some things and still worry more about others.

There’ll be much joy in writing. The words and ideas will come, but you should pause now and stop putting so much pressure to be productive and cross the finish line.

No matter what group you find yourself in you’ll always be a little bit on the outside. You always have been (hello, you named a blog The Reluctant Sojourner for a reason), so maybe it’s time to stop thinking that will change and learn to live in the in-between. Be a border stalker.

You’ll have a kid who’ll be taller than you. You’ll find an ally in him…who will still occasionally push your buttons.

Don’t wait to create until your to do list is done. You’ll be too tired + depleted to do anything. 

// 

A little behind on #onedaymay camping and the cleanup kinda took it out of me.
Who else pairs their books with their vacation? 🏖

Walking on Water - a reread that I feel my soul and creative spirit needs.

Part of Your World - I preordered this because I devoured all of Abby Jimenez’s books in one week last summer and then realized I had to wait a year for the next one. Not sure if there’s beach vibes, but the title is giving me Ariel vibes.

Skin of the Sea - A Little Mermaid retelling I’m finally ready to read. When it was published, I read the description and nearly cried. It was so much like the book I had just began querying (the book I’m going to be editing…again…in May).

📚 What are you reading?

.
#onedaymay  #currentlyreading #beachbooks #bookstacks #booksaremagic #writersread
“This month I will…” This month I will exam “This month I will…”

This month I will examine why “I have to…,” “Because it’s expected of me…,” and “I’m supposed to…” are regular parts of my vocabulary.

This month I will give myself permission to rest and write and do what fills me up before completing everything on my to do list.

This month I will let my imagination, hope, and wonder wander. 

This month I will renew my pillars of rhythms and rest.

🌱What about you?

Prompt: “This month I will…” with @laura.tremaine #onedaymay 

.
#writerslife #writinglife
TW: infant and miscarriage loss, grieving The Una TW: infant and miscarriage loss, grieving

The Unacknowledged Griefs of Miscarriage as they came to me this morning.

• The anger and betrayal you feel toward your own body.
• 
• The fact that losses that are more visual (late term, stillborn, etc) are considered harder, more acknowledged, receive more support while under 20 week losses are considered not that big of a deal (even in Christian communities, especially in…)

• How sex becomes something to fear, because it could just start another cycle of loss.

• Meeting someone and showing unexpected emotional displays because they have the same name as one of the children you lost.

• Periods become a violent monthly reminder of losing your child. Of both the physical process of loss and the fact that you’re not pregnant.

• Realizing you will always carry this grief deeper than anyone else, even your husband, because it’s your body that carried them. 

• The months and years grieving takes from your daily life that very few ever see because your loss was “small” (the months my kids survived on eggs and goldfish). Or even if it wasn’t “small,” your pregnancy/child/grieving was still an inconvenience to others.

• The fact that you’re still expected to function and interact normally. You may get 6 weeks to 3 months (shorter if it’s a miscarriage)

• Anger, so much repressed anger.

• How your body remembers the dates and seasons even when you do not and your realize just how much the body keeps score. 

• The questions kids ask or how they’ll causally bring up babies when you least expect it catching you off guard.

• Buying remembrance necklaces becomes costly. $30 for an initial charm doesn’t sound too bad until you multiply it by 7 and then add in the actual necklace plus shipping.

• The loneliness.

continued in comments ⬇️
April photo dump 📷 Hope you're enjoying the la April photo dump 📷

Hope you're enjoying the last Saturday/day of April!
It went by fast. 😳

Tomorrow's May Day/Beltane. 🌸 We'll probably gather flowers, read some folklore, and lay in the sun. You?

1 - Violet Tea
2 - Nature Nerds (aka moms) in the wild
3 - Flowery Rooftop bar in NYC
4 - Proving I'm the least cool (or least best dressed) of my siblings
5 - Plant babies growing
6 - Easter
7 - Azaleas in bloom
8 - all the lists!
9 - the cat
10 - yard clippings before they died
My eyes flitted to Henry’s. His breath, or mine, My eyes flitted to Henry’s. His breath, or mine, I could not tell, hitched. My heart pounded in my chest, I felt a bird caged under a cat’s predatory eye. My eyes begged, implored him, to save or distract. I gripped the empty tray, pushing its metal edge into my stomach.⁠
⁠
The voices at the table blurred together in a mix of English and German.⁠
⁠
“Who is she?”⁠
⁠
“The poor dear.”⁠
⁠
“Mother, please, let us speak of something else.”⁠
⁠
“Oh, Henry,” she waved her hand at him as if the things she spoke of were no more than a passing comment on the breeze, a pair of new gloves or a bottle of imported wine. “We can’t hide our past. It is true, is it not?”⁠
⁠
Their words flooded my senses, I was drowning. My chest heaved in spasms. I spied the door, my only exit, but what would that do for me? I’d only have to return. If I exchanged places with Ms. Boyton then Mistress Resier would not only be displeased, but know how deeply her words cut me. I could not, I would not let her know how she cut my scars with her tongue.⁠
⁠
I raised my head to find her watching me, daring me to contradict her, to not answer. I straightened my shoulders, gathering measure of my mother’s resolve.⁠
⁠
“Yes, m’am,” I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. My hands shook, betraying any attempt to conceal how she rattled me.⁠

//

A bit of backstory: This is from one of Sophia's earlier chapters. One of the first times she sees Henry since coming to the colony. But...there's been a  bit of change in her station. Once a lady of society, now a servant. Her mother and Mrs. Reiser (Henry's mother) were long time rivals.
⁠
#wipwednesday #storysnippet #onelinewednesday #writerslife #writersjourney #authorsofinstagram #thehauntingofmagnoliawoods
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